When preparing to speak about Moshe I should say that all my thoughts about him are, and have been, overwhelmingly positive. He has been an ever present influence in the wider family, and increasingly so over the years.
He was the beloved, and always loved, first son of my parents, Nissim and Lore. He was given the name of his grandfather – his father’s father – as was traditional.
When he was born on 9 October 1949 my parents were living in Tel Aviv. They already had a daughter, Rachel Else, who had been born in April 1947. This was a difficult time in Israel, just before Israeli independence. Life was tough, but the Confino family – grandparents, uncles, aunts, and many cousins, lived in two adjacent apartments on Shalom Aleichem Street in Tel Aviv. The area has now changed beyond all recognition. Then their home was one of a very few compact apartment blocks by the sea shore, with little development around. There were no refrigerators, and ice was brought to the flat by cart pulled by donkeys and delivers in large blocks to be able to keep food fresh enough to store for a short while. Now, of course, Shalom Aleichem Street is in the commercial centre of town, with huge, tall office blocks all around.
When Moshe was born 72 years ago Rachel was only 18 months old. The proximity of the wider family meant that there were close relations around to assist with looking after the little ones. My mother told me that Moshe had been the most astonishingly beautiful baby. People used to comment on how special he looked when she took him out. For the first three years in Israel he was active, very early with his walking and quite the gymnast! Rachel was a loving and caring sister and Moshe was enveloped with love and affection.
It was really only after he reached his third birthday that concerns were raised about his relationships with others, and my parents were assiduous in investigating their concerns. It was suggested that Moshe had autism. In those early days of the State of Israel there were not the facilities or the medical expertise to properly assess and treat Moshe, and my parents took the difficult but necessary step of returning to London, where the understanding and treatment for autism was much more advanced.
So, in 1953, when I was just 6 months old, my parents returned with 3 young children to live in the UK. This was in an apartment in South Gardens in The Avenue, Wembley Park. It was a small flat, but had a shared garden and I have photos of these early years, some with my grandparents – Babo and Papoutchi – visiting from Israel.
This was a difficult time for my parents as Moshe was assessed and definitively diagnosed with autism, and he retreated more and more into himself. It also coincided with the period of another baby arriving, my brother David, in 1955. It was in the following year that my sister Rachel suddenly passed away. In Moshe’s best interests, and in view of the circumstances at home, my father found a residential home (Bromham Hospital) that could look after Moshe in Bedfordshire. This was a period during which Moshe was regularly visited by my father, and by a wonderful lady called Mrs Archer who lived locally to the hospital. I remember her with her kind, round face and tightly curled hair exuding love and generosity of spirit towards Moshe. She visited Moshe for many, many years to take him out for walks and to look after him, and then her lovely daughter Anne joined her and both took on this role.
My parents took the definitive decision to be positive through all this and to create a large, happy family. This they continued to do very successfully over the years from 1956, producing three more sons – Daniel, Simon and Jonathan. It was also a time that we moved locally to a much bigger house in Wembley, in West Hill.
However, for many years we saw very little of Moshe and it was not until he was so thankfully relocated to be in the wonderfully caring Ravenswood/Norwood environment that my mother and all of us siblings were able to be more with Moshe. It is a sadness to me that my father did not live long enough to see Moshe in his new home.
I cannot emphasise enough how special this change was for Moshe. When he came to Carlton Avenue in Wembley in 1997, when the home opened, it had the double benefit of being close to the family home in West Hill, and therefore easy for my mother to have the joy of seeing Moshe very regularly, and also of being loved and cared for by the most wonderful team of people over many years now. I know how much she valued this. My mother treasured the opportunity of cooking meals for Moshe and eating them on the terrace at West Hill with the carers who brought Moshe over to her house.
Norwood has to be congratulated on its ability to provide such a lovely home for its residents, and also for recruiting such dedicated, long standing and conscientious staff to look after those in its care. They are truly wonderful, as was shown when Moshe was very ill in Northwick Park Hospital, and the home provided 24 hour care every day by his bedside – well beyond the call of duty.
From the time Moshe came to be in this supportive, sympathetic, and encouraging Jewish environment, he thrived. It has been a team effort, and special thanks go to Mel, Eugene, Honey, Loretta and all the carers over the years for their dedication and hard work in looking after Moshe, and for the way they have included our family.
Let me read you one of the emails that came this morning (from Melanie Arulraj at Norwood) - (see attachment)
It was a privilege to be able to visit Moshe in his own home and to be so warmly welcomed by the carers on every occasion. Care for Moshe has been one of the central features of our family life. The last two years have obviously been more difficult because of Covid and the restrictions on visiting. However, there have been regular weekly zoom meetings involving all the siblings which have been a great way to keep up with Moshe.
Many of you may recall that it was Moshe’s photo that appeared in the advertisements for Norwood last Rosh Hashanah as part of its fund raising efforts. He became the friendly face and the poster boy of the organisation.
Finally, I should say that Moshe has had a full life right through to the last few days, and one for which we are all blessed.
May his memory be for a blessing.
Ruth
Dear all,
I hope you are well.
I write this email with great sadness as I came to know about Moshe’s passing.
I have known Moshe for over 22 years and Moshe and your family have always been very close to my heart as I also had a great friendship with your mother.
It has been a real pleasure and a privilege to have known and supported Moshe and I certainly can write a book about the wonderful times we had together not to mention the many laughs we have had. Moshe was a unique and very kind individual with great passions in life. He certainly gave us many fond memories.
I will truly miss seeing him at Carlton.
Take care and I wish you all a very long life.
With warm wishes,
Mel