Roots - Sally and Clara Ermann - After the Death of Fritz Continued
My grandmother’s sadness and worries and desperation about her inability to help Oswald are reflected in all her letters dating from the time of my father’s death until the outbreak of war when it became impossible to write. When my father died and was cremated, my grandmother gave a very moving account (see letter of 23.3.1939).Translation
Letter from Clara to Lore, Frankfurt 23.3.1939
My dear Lorchen,
It is late in the evening and I want to write to you, my dearest Lorchen. Your dear Papa now has eternal peace and we have the great sadness not to have him with us any more. The cremation was on Tuesday morning at 10 o’clock in Offenbach (it is no longer permitted here). His best friends as well as Opa and myself and Frau Mayer took part in the ceremony. It was very dignified even though no rabbi was present. Everyone highly valued his good character and sense of justice and he had good and true friends.
This morning at 11 o’clock, the urn was placed in the grave of your dear mother and only Opa, myself and Frau Mayer were present. A small prayer was said and we gave him flowers as a last farewell. He is now united with your mother. They will look down on you from heaven and bless you. Always keep in mind the love your parents had for you and Oswald, stay good and upright and so you will honour his memory.
Today we had a letter from Oswald, the poor boy, I think he is very worried and grieves greatly. Write to him much and often; he is all alone. He is sad that he cannot go anywhere but God willing, this will pass.
Tante Georgel wanted to visit him but I don’t think it is possible at the moment. He was so much looking forward to her visit. I even asked Tante Betty to send a small contribution to Georgel for the visit but they did not agree. It is hard that one is always dependent on others, but there is no other way at the moment. It is up to you, dear Lorchen, to give him confidence and to write often.
Madame Mayer is like a sister to me. She helped to look after your Papa and was constantly at his side. We must be very grateful to her. On Monday, she is going to Stuttgart and wants to leave to the U.S. mid-April via Amsterdam, London if everything goes according to plan. It is impossible to make firm plans from one day to the next. How things will carry on here, dear Lorchen, I do not know. There will be great difficulties in every quarter but they must be overcome.
Whether we can stay on in this flat is uncertain. Everything that lies ahead is gloomy, neither do I know what will happen regarding the guardianship. I only know that I cannot undertake anything at present until the question of guardianship is settled and instructions given. Lene is still with us but there again I don’t know how it will be. I am very unhappy but hope to do everything according to the law. Your dear Papa is at peace. We must be pleased for him.
Not long after came the parting with Madame Mayer, her friend and support who emigrated to the States.
From then on, she had to shoulder all the burdens and responsibilities alone. Opa was not much help and was greatly handicapped with very poor eyesight.
“Everything that lies ahead is gloomy.”
“How sad was the last year for me and how I must pull myself together to go on living for Opa and Oswald.”
“I often long for peace and I think you would find me much aged...”
Her concern about Oswald gave her no peace. She put out feelers in every direction to find help for him and in her letters she tried to instil in him self-confidence and hope (see letter 5.9.1940).
Translation
Letter from Clara to Oswald and family friends (?), 5.9.1940
My dear friends, my dear Oswald,
We were so happy to learn from your letter of 6 August that you are all well and that you, my dear Oswald, are in good health. I can’t convey to you, my dear Oswald, how badly I am haunted day and night by the thought that you are out there penniless. Are you back at school or where are you and who is paying your expenses? Have you heard from your little sister, is she still at school? I have no news, also nothing from other relatives. I do not know how I can help you.
Perhaps Arthur can give you assistance. Felix is not allowed to send you anything either. He would be willing to help you, you know his address, or Silvain can stand by you and give you advice. I have just written to Ignaz and begged him to think of a way to help you. In any event, go to the Aid Comité, they will most likely assist you, or the local Rabbi. They must help you and always mention that you are an orphan alone in the world.
I wrote to you 3 letters and assume you did not receive them. Only yesterday I approached the brother of Lisa to help me find you. He lives in Bern and is called Arthur Kauffman, Victoriastr. 63. Perhaps he will help you. In any event give him your address.
And now to you, my most dear friends. How can I thank you for your kindness you showed my poor grandson. Our dear Fritz will look down from heaven and thank you. I have no words and God will repay you for your help. How comforting to me are your dear words that you are keeping an eye on Oswald and are giving him advice and you, my dear friend (f) write that you will replace for him his loss. Our poor Fritz said before his death, “how lucky I am to have such good friends” and how true are his words.
And now, dear Oswald, trust in God and do not lose your self confidence. God does not abandon orphans and your dear parents will look down at you from heaven. You were always brave and courageous and upright, stay that way, be of good character. I have brought you up to be a fine person. Continue to give me honour, then I will be content...
Keep well and I embrace you, dear Oswald, and bless you in my thoughts.
Once again, stay well and hold your head high.
Your OMA
I hope you have money for postage stamp
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