Summer Holiday, 1941

THIS IS THE SENTIMENTAL STORY OF LIFE AND LOVE AND GLORY: A CASE OF DO OR DIE:

CHAPTER I - ARRIVAL AT DUSK

The train drew up. Brakes screamed. The engine whistled. Doors opened. Strange faces passed by one by one and tired feet shuffled up the endless stairs of Hadley Wood station.

I sat down wondering what had happened to my dearest friend. Had she deserted me?

I should have trusted more in her faithful devotion for, twenty minutes later, the familiar, chubby little cherub hopped down from the train, swinging in her plump fist a brown case of tremendous proportions.

 

CHAPTER II - PILGRIMS’ PROGRESS

Mother of Pearl: Look hither, Father Jacob, whither have gone my keys to undo yon
burden?   

Father Jacob: Mother of Pearl, my heart is sorely troubled should you have lost them
on your way hither!    

Mother of Pearl: Woe unto me for I am undone! Behold what opening be this in my
pocket? 
   
Father Jacob: May it be, Mother of Pearl, that thy keys have fallen yonder into the
seam of  thy cloak?  

Mother of Pearl: Thy wisdom is great, Father Jacob, for they are here!

Father Jacob: Let us together lift thy burden and ascend to my house.

 

CHAPTER III - SAFETY FIRST

With no male protection in the house, we were anxious and concerned about our well-being. One hears such dreadful stories these days about young ladies being....
WE BARRICADED OUR DOORS:

 

CHAPTER IV - VISITING ROYALTY

Three sober ladies went to the Duke of York,
Three sober ladies didn’t use knife or fork:
A glass of cider each did drink
Which made them at the soldiers wink!
Three giggling ladies, alas, were homeward bound
And three pink mice in Waggon Road they found.

CHAPTER V - 12.00 Sunday HOME SERVICE: CHILDRENS’ HOUR

This afternoon Auntie Rita and Auntie Lore tell you about the PATRIOTIC FRYING PAN    

Good afternoon children:

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Riri who lived in a foreign country. Like most little girls she tried to help her mummy who gave her a little cookery book.

Now one day, a wicked, wicked sorcerer with a black moustache drove poor wee Kiri away from home.

Many days after, Riri met another little girl called Lolo. Once, when they were all alone, they stole into the kitchen and Riri whispered to Lolo: “I am going to teach you to cook from my little cookery book.” They switched on the oven and then they found a huge frying pan.

Now, children, do you know what the frying pan did? The frying pan thought: “I am sure my missus wouldn’t like me to fry these strange ‘Krautwickels’. So it decided to show its disapproval by trying to jump down from the hot plate. But the strong fumes soon overwhelmed it and the lovely Krautwickel disappeared into the rumbling tummies of Riri and Lolo.

END